PLAYGIRL blog

Besides plenty of undressed cowboys, this year’s country issue (in mailboxes now and on stands June 3) includes a round-up of some of our favorite down-home crafts. We scoured Etsy.com, ground zero of creative crafting, for the most titillating homemade gifts, made with love by the most innovative (and one-track-minded) craftsters coast to coast.

From the birth control charm bracelet, to the one-of-a-kind erection dress (pictured at left) to stuffed STD bunnies, penis pin cushions, and kinky candy, we found a little something-something for everyone. We could only feature 10 of our favorites in the magazine, but here’s some more we didn’t want you to miss—and some giveaways to boot!

Rough Rider Overcoat
$20, FreakyOldWoman, Aurora, CO
Even dickheads need to keep warm in the winter—and this hand-crocheted, condom-inspired hat should do the trick. Flesh-toned, with a ribbed texture, a reservoir tip and rolled bottom, it measures about 7” tall and 22” in circumference. Dawn has crocheted for about 40 years; but only recently invented the condom hat. “Some friends can’t believe I actually made it and have it listed for sale,” she told us. “But most people think it’s really funny and a great idea. After all, it’s all about protection from the elements, right?”

Wee Willie Pendants
+/-$25, Invention Art, PA
These hand-sculpted, one-of-a-kind pendants are made from polymer clays and weigh in at less than an inch; though Invention Art does welcome custom requests for “size daring.” “People have been looking at these guys like a zapped out zoo display on Etsy,” says their designer. We’re not sure what that means, but it sounds impressive.

Send your mailing address to Giveaway@playgirlmag.com with “Wee Willie Pendant” in the subject line for a chance to win!

Love Porn Buttons
$10, Sweetie Pie Press, Toronto, ON
Toronto-based illustrator Emma Segal made this set of 1” buttons for Sweetie Pie Press’s new series of commissioned artist-button sets. Becky Johnson, who runs Sweetie Pie, says they “illustrate love and affection through anatomy as opposed to objectification.” She says she’s noticed people have trouble trying to figure out what the image of two men is. “It’s like a rorschach test for sexual repression. At [a craft fair] in Chicago, an older lady leaned over to her grandson with the button in hand and said ‘Look, these two horses are in love.’”

Strap One On Hoodie Bling
$5-$6, LaCoque, New York, NY
Add some sass to that tired hoodie. Etched in chrome or gold-plated nickel, these petite phallic zipper tags come with a mini key chain ring so you can attach it to your zipper (among numerous other places!) and subtly wear it to a corporate party, as one of LaCoque’s customers bravely did. “I can’t lie, I love sex and men,” says craftstress Jody Robin.

Spank Me Earrings
$36, Hoolala, Northampton, UK
Spell it out delicately with these sterling stud earrings (11 mm in diameter). The designer has a degree in sculpture and was inspired to venture into some light bondage by “a collective of saucy burlesque girls and my racy collection of Victorian bondange postcards.” Also in a sterling-and-pewter charm pendant ($38) and a silver-plated ring ($17).

Penis Stationery Set
$4.75, Snew, Minneapolis, MN
Whether you need invitations to a bachelorette party or just have something to get off your chest, this penis stationery is great for (almost) every occasion. The set consists of eight 4.25” x 5.5” cards adorned with a phallic graphic. Creator Snew says she has “always celebrated the phallic form and all its greatness.” Each set is full of different, vivid colors for those who know variety is the spice of life!

A Really Good Screw… Earrings
$24.44, studioKAPLAN, Providence, RI
Two great screws are definitely better than one, especially when they can be worn on your ears. A Really Good Screw… Earrings come with smooth-edged screws and professionally shaped sterling silver ear wires. Choose dangly (on hooks with one-inch brass Phillips wood screws) or studs (with half-inch brass Phillips head flat top screws). Jeweler Mark Kaplan knows how to solder a perfect screw—he’s been making jewelry since he was a wee Boy Scout!

Wee Willy Winkie
$10, Hapslappily, Detroit, MI
How often does a penis make you smile? With the Wee Willy Winkie broach, you can be smiling all the time! This fuzzy felt, 3.5” tall dick comes with sew-on googly eyes and a pinback, so you can attach this cute little guy to your lapel and wear him proudly. Shannon Rowan, Wee Willy’s inventor, hand-stitches every brooch in any choice of colors. The Wee Willy also comes as a bookmark ($12)—perfect for the pervy librarian in your life!

Send your mailing address to Giveaway@playgirlmag.com with “Wee Willy Winkie Brooch” in the subject line for a chance to win!

Dirty Dirty Dress
$1,200, belleslettres, Boston, MA
Looking to catch some gazes tonight? Look no further than the ultimate in attention-getting attire, the Dirty Dirty Dress. This flirty ribbon-strap mini-dress snaps in the back and is made with 200 1.5-inch laminated picture squares. The pics leave no male body parts uncovered. For gutsy chicks only: Dare to be bare underneath!

Gay Porn Charm Bracelet
$10, zombiebunny, Detroit, MI
Vintage smut never looked so good on a lady’s wrist. Made for kitsch-lovers, this 9” long silver-colored bracelet features 3/4” wide charms with scenes from yesteryear’s beefcake magazines and gay pornos. Kaylie McD, the porn jeweler, started collecting vintage smut and pornography from the ’50s, ’60s and ’70s a few years ago. “I look at the pictures as…erotic art instead of something objectionable, and I wanted…other people [to] see it that way, as well,” she says. Also in Groovy ’70s style!

Porn Quilt
$150, S-S-Stitch, Berkeley, CA
Manipulating pornographic images, Susannah Schnick aims to celebrate the “domesticated seamstress and the sexually uninhibited porn star.” Each 9” x 10” cotton quilt is machine-quilted, with images printed onto tear-away paper.

Vegan Edible Massage Oil
$8, Lollibomb, Jersey City, NJ
No preservatives, colorants, animal products or other nonsense in these homemade edible oils—just pure tasty vegan fun! Specially formulated not to be too thick or too sticky, the oil warms when massaged and leaves skin soft and sweet. In suggestively named flavors like “Honeydew Me” and “Me So Honey”, as well as dozens of other tasty classics, including Cherry Bomb, Mochachino and Peachy Keen.

Vibrator Cover
$5, Generation XXX Crochet, Bellevue, OH
Protect your favorite vibe from the elements (when it’s not in use) with a hand-crocheted cover. It fits a standard sized vibrator (7.5” long and 1.25” in diameter). Christy McMahon, a veteran crafter of 15 years, will gladly make a cozy to your tastes in ‘skin’ tone and hair color. One word of advice: “Make sure they are put away securely so that your cats or other furry creatures don’t run around the house with it in their mouth when your mother-in-law is visiting,” Christy says. “Very embarrassing!” We’ll say.

Willie Warmers
$15, Goldie’s Knits, San Diego, CA
Stave off a shrink-inducing chill with the Willie Warmer. Seamlessly knit from acrylic yarn, this warmer measures 5” long x 4” wide and is, of course, washable. Knit-mistress Deb will also take custom orders for your special size needs and color preferences. According to one customer, who we can only hope wasn’t speaking from personal experience, avid hunters should go with the bright orange warmer—not the camouflage—in order to avoid any pot shots to the pecker.

Penis Keychains
$10, Created by Carmen, Ft. Wayne, IN
There’s an ever-changing roster of “pervy things” available at Created by Carmen but if you have your sights set on crocheted penis keychains, you’ve come to the right place. They come in various colors and with all kinds of accoutrements (googly eyes strongly recommended) but Carmen will also do custom orders if you have something unique in mind.

For more “Cuntry Crafts” click below, and be sure to pick up our July/August issue.

Liz Nadybal and Jillian Rios contributed to this PLAYGIRL special report.