Because India is the world’s fastest-growing mobile telephone market (it grew 57 percent in the last year), the ringtone has high hopes to do well amongst the 270 million mobile users.

Radharani Mitra, creative director of the BBC World Service Trust, said, “Ringtones have become such personal statements that a specially created condom ringtone seemed just the right way of combining a practical message with a fun approach.”

The ringtone can be downloaded at condomcondom.org.

Some reader-submitted humor, for your pleasure…

A college class was told to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things: religion, sexuality, and mystery.

The only A+ story in the entire class?

“Good God; I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it.”

—Submitted by Madelyn Miller, Houston, TX

That’s $278.97 worth of good vibrations to you.

Along with the hundreds, I was there rockin’ out to the Legally Blonde musical soundtrack (don’t judge).

Playgirl insider tip: Silent raves are a great way to break the ice if you see someone cute in the crowd. Just ask, “Hey, what are you listening to?” Works every time! I got 6 numbers!

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

[More after the jump!]

Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”

Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”

Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”

Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.

Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”

Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?

“‘That’s nothing,’ said the other husband, ‘Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said, “From all of us at the fire station. We’ll never forget you!”‘’

—Submitted by Lisa, via Myspace

How friggin’ cute is this shirt, Playgirls? It says to the onlookers, “I’m nutty for polka-dots, but I can never shaft prints.” Plus it makes you feel good knowing you’re ballsy enough to wear a multi-colored penis on your chest.

It’s probably a really big hit at bachelorette parties since it’s called the ‘”Bachelorette Penis Applique Shirt“. Get yours at Etsy.com for $30.

Let’s all give Seth Rogan, Evan Goldberg, and Judd Apatow a big round of applause. They create a film with enough weed colloquialisms and obscure humor to take down a hippo. According to the Phoenixville News, the film brought in $22.4 million over the past weekend and $40.4 million since last Wednesday’s opening.

The next time you get the urge to say a line from a movie let it be Pineapple Express. My favorite is when Dale (Seth Rogan) says, “It smells like God’s vagina.”

An employee at a Greene County, Ohio, Burger King stripped down to his skivvies for a bubbly bath in the franchise’s sink, NBC’s WDTN.com news branch reported this morning.

The evidence, a four-minute video posted on MySpace, featured Mr. Unstable (as he so-called himself), buck-naked in a “large, stainless-steel sink as several other employees and a store manager looked on.” Once the clip ended up in the hands of Greene County’s health commissioner, Mark McDonnell, the proverbial fur began to fly.

“My first thought was oh my god,” McDonnell said. One health-code inspection, ditching of all kitchen utensils, two sink sanitations, and a unilateral employee-cleansing later, McDonnell said: “You can’t account for everyone’s stupid actions but when things do happen if you respond to it and take the appropriate action that’s reassuring.” Oh yeah. Who’s up for some BK veggie burgers?